BRINGING THE BEST OUT IN OTHERS
BRINGING THE BEST OUT IN OTHERS
The beauty of being a friend
“A friend is a pair of open arms in a society of arm less people.”
“A friend is a beautiful orchard in the middle of the desert.”
“A friends is a living example of Jesus”
Hundreds of people have been friendly, however that is not good enough. To go beyond and become a friend.
We all need people to be our friend.
Proverbs 18:24: A man who has friends must himself be friendly.
You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.
Friendship is a responsibility not an opportunity.
C.S. Lewis
Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, "What! You, too? I thought I was the only one.
Dr. Julius Segal,
the distinguished psychologist who worked with the Iran Hostages, Vietnam POWs, and other survivors, wrote a book entitled Winning Life’s Toughest Battles in which he shared his observations of those who had overcome terrible trauma in their lives. His first chapter is devoted to the importance of having friends, a circle of comrades with whom to communicate.
He wrote, “Few individuals can cope with trauma alone. Even the most powerful figures in the world need contact with others in the face of crisis.”
Segal goes on to report a study of over two thousand who had suffered trauma, including physical abuse, rape, or the death of a loved one. Survivors were healthier if they managed to confide in someone about the event. Those who hadn’t discussed their experiences developed more illness of various sorts—from headaches to lung disease.
The importance of Friends
1. If in Jail, what difference would it make to be with a good friend?
a. Example of Paul & Silas
2. Examples of friendships
Ruth and Naomi
Following a severe famine, Elimelech and his wife Naomi took their two sons to live in the country of Moab. Tragically Elimelech died, followed years later by Naomi’s two sons who by that point had married two women called Naomi and Orpha.
Instead of returning to her home, Ruth insisted on accompanying Naomi to Israel.
Ruth 1:16-17 “But Ruth replied, “Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. 17 Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord deal with
me, be it ever so severely, if even death separates you and me.”
Ruth stuck by her mother-in-law during an extremely challenging time. Despite being from different cultures, places and generations, Naomi and Ruth established a deep bond. Their commitment to each other is a great example of Christ-like sacrifice. Ruth ended up marrying one of Naomi’s relatives, Boaz.
Barnabas and Paul
One of the most powerful friendships in the New Testament is between Paul and Barnabas. Together they launched the first missionary journey and they were a great church-planting team. For just over two years, they planted over a dozen congregations.
3. A friend will bring out the best is us – P 27:17
4. We all need a friend that will help us when we stumble or fall – Ecc 4:9-10
5. Friendship was a hallmark of the early Church
6. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
7. The story of Jonathan and David illustrates the value of friendship.
1 Samuel 18:1-3 “After David had finished talking with Saul, Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself. From that day Saul kept David with him and did not let him return home to his family. And Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself.”
David and Jonathan had a sacrificial friendship. They were friends even though their situation made them rivals for the crown – Jonathan being the eldest son of King Saul and David, the son of Jesse of Bethlehem. Jonathan was incredibly loyal towards David, warning him of King Saul’s intent to kill him.
How difficult it would have been for David to endure this unjust persecution without the nourishment of friendship based in the Lord.
Lincoln’s Friend
During the worst days of the Civil War, an old friend of Abraham Lincoln’s, a Springfield, Illinois, shopkeeper named Billy Brown, decided he’d travel to Washington to see his old friend, the President of the United States. An aide to the president asked him if he had an appointment.
Late that evening, Billy said goodbye. The President tried to get him to stay the night, but Billy, not wanting to impose, declined. As they parted, Lincoln said, “Billy, what did you come down here for?”
“I came to see you, Mr. Lincoln.”
“But you ain’t asked me for anything, Billy. What is it? Out with it.”
Lincoln gazed into his friend’s eyes. “Do you mean to tell me you came all the way from Springfield, Illinois, just to have a visit with me; that you ain’t got no complaints in your pockets or advice up your sleeve?”
“Yes, sir. That’s about it.”
Tears came into Lincoln’s eyes and ran down his cheeks. “I’m homesick, Billy, just plumb homesick, and it seems as if this war would never be over. Many a night I can see the boys dying of the fields and can hear their mothers crying for them at home, and I can’t help it, Billy.… You’ll never know just what good you’ve done me.”
Proverbs 27:17, which states "Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another,"
Close relationships and interactions with others can lead to personal growth and improvement.
Just as iron can be sharpened by rubbing it against another piece of iron, individuals can be refined and strengthened through their interactions with others.
Paul’s Address Book
The apostle Paul was clearly a man committed to raising up a band of special friends. He knew who they were, and he regularly recognized them for their contribution to his spiritual passion. His friends were a resource upon which he obviously depended and without which he would not have survived.
X His address book of special friends would have included Aquila and Priscilla, with whom he occasionally worked and lived (see Acts 18:3),
X Onesiphorus (“for he oft refreshed me” 2 Tim. 1:16—KJV),
X Philemon (“I have derived much joy and comfort from your love” Philem. 1:7—RSV), Luke, and a host of others.
How does God describe a good friend?
The Bible describes true friendship as when one will be honest even when it hurts.
Proverbs 27:6 says, “Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.”
This means that a true friend of yours will tell you what you need to hear, even if it hurts, instead of flattering you all of the time.
Traits of a True Friend.
· A true friend is one who admonishes.
· A true friend is supportive.
· A true friend prays.
Conclusion:
Never ask yourself, “How can I find good friends?”
ASK INSTEAD, “HOW CAN I BE A BETTER FRIEND TO SOMEONE ELSE?”
